023. An Artist's Sacred Space

As an artist, when you are engaged in the act of creation, there’s something magical happening. You are accessing a part of your mind that is uniquely yours. No one else in existence is in that mind space except you. It is a sacred space. One that should be nourished and encouraged.

I’m not trying to be dramatic, but I find it hard to describe it in any other way.

Ink drawing, 2016.

Our imaginations are something that set us apart from other species. We have the ability to conjure fantasy, to build worlds in our minds, to completely and vividly live out different scenarios and possibilities before ever making it known in the tangible world.

The complexity of the human mind still confounds scientists. Countless studies show the incredible highway of neurons active in any given moment. Take sight for example. As you read this, your eyes are receiving light along the visible wavelength that has been reflected off of the screen in front of you, and within an instant, your mind has translated it into words that have meaning. Something so “simple” yet so incredibly profound.

Artists take something completely unreal - an idea floating in the ether of their mind - and bring it to life for others to see/touch/hear/taste.

How do we balance the need to share our artistic voice with our need to experience that sacred space?

Over the years, I’ve witnessed and lived through the rise of digital media and social networks, just old enough to be fully aware of their beginnings and how it has changed daily life.

At times I’ve completely embraced it, almost been lost in it. “Needing” it.

At other times I’ve completely rejected it.

I still remember the day I deleted my Facebook account (2011). I was walking into a restaurant with a friend and as we were getting a table, I suddenly realized my eyes were glued to my phone as I was “checking in” to let Facebook know where I was. That moment of realization stunned me to my core. Why on gaia’s green earth does it matter that I’m about to eat at this restaurant, and to SHARE that online in an invisible social network…?? I scrolled through my Facebook feed and saw post after post of pointless shit (sorry but I don’t care what someone is having for breakfast or that their dog got a new toy, or that my friend’s aunt’s friend just saw a hilarious video on youtube).

That day I went home and deleted my account. To be honest there was a week’s worth of withdrawal, and then very suddenly, I was free.

That was a wakeup call for me. It started me on a new personal journey.

Rather than share everything about my life as it was happening, I began to live my life for me. I lived more deeply through each experience. I did things just for the sake of doing them. Before, if I had gone on an amazing mountain hike and taken photos, that same day I would have posted all of them online and been busy responding to comments and likes, whereas after I deleted my account, I was fully immersed in the hike, discussing it with whoever I was with, internalizing how amazing it was, and planning my next trip. I learned more about myself in that year than ever before. There was absolutely no desire to jump online and share what I did. I was having incredible adventures, and the only people who knew were people in my daily life.

Occasionally I would wonder, does this type of existence mean less because I’m not sharing it? And almost immediately I would realize, no. Our existence is real regardless of who knows about it. I still climbed that mountain. I still spent a week on that beach reading and playing in the waves. I still ate breakfast. So rather than focus on making sure lots of people know about all my wonderful or boring experiences, I simply lived.

This epiphany was extremely important with my artistic journey.

At the time my photography career was slowly starting to grow, and I was also beginning to paint and draw a lot more.

After work each day, if I didn’t have a photography gig, I was painting or drawing. I would enjoy hours of quiet, internal reflection, brought forth through abstract paintings. I wasn’t doing it for any reason except I loved it. I had this internal desire to move color across a canvas to create vivid and active compositions.

Those early months of exploration were my own. I wasn’t concerned with sharing any of it because there was no reason to. I learned SO much about myself and my reasons for creating. During the act of creation, there was a feeling of pure joy and relief in expressing my inner voice in this way. More and more canvases were lining my walls, and my husband at the time started to encourage me to share them. It was also the time I joined Twitch (not yet streaming). So in 2014 I created my Instagram account.

Nowadays, I share almost everything I create on instagram, even my sketches. I have to stop and ask myself, why?

Why do we feel this incessant need to share everything we create? As an artist in an ever increasing digital world, there’s almost a feeling that we will get left behind if we don’t keep active on social media and various artistic communities. It feels good to share something and get a positive response. However it feels empty in comparison to the joy of being completely immersed in our sacred space without the intention of sharing or outside reactions.

When I was in art school, social media wasn’t a thing yet. Facebook had just been invented but it was in it’s infancy. So this SHARE SHARE SHARE culture was not part of our lives. It worries me now that I’m sometimes apprehensive to create anything on my own without a thought of recording it in some way to share on instagram (or another platform).

For artists I believe it is partly a biproduct of our desire to spread our voice, share our vision, as well as build our business. There’s a direct correlation to how much money I make to how much I share with the world.

Perhaps we need to force ourselves to stop and think about that sacred space. Those moments of solitude creation, with no intention of sharing it, simply creating to create. The sacred space that we can easily forget about when we are busy sharing or planning to share. The great masters worked all day every day on their studies and their (now) famous commissions. Most of which were not “shared” until much later, after their deaths, as technology began to spread throughout the world. They lived their lives, immersed in their studios, their families and friends, their communities. Were they better off for it?

These days I find myself less aware of my sacred space, and more concerned with how what I’m doing will be shared. As a full time streamer, I’ve been completely engulfed in this SHARE mindset again. I spend the equivalent of 40 hours per week streaming my artwork as well as digitizing my work to share on social media, my website, and my Etsy store. This is the reason I’m able to make a living, but at what cost?

So my new goal...my vow to my artistic self is to create more without the concern of sharing.

(even now I’m giggling as I realize the irony of sharing this with you).

To spend at least an hour or two a day creating something purely for myself. To be once again immersed within my visions and practicing my ability to render them.

The desire to share and be part of a community is human nature, but I’ve experienced how easily it is to let it take over completely. It is my sincere hope that I’m able to maintain a balance between being in my sacred space and my desire to share. I always feel much more satisfied with the former.
Do you have experiences or insights relating to this? I’d love to hear them! Comment below or email me!